Hello, Kuchu!

Babyyyyy,

Happy 9 years of us, on and off! Hehe, But yes, happy 9 years of being in love with you for EVERY SINGLE DAY! I cannot begin to explain how much I've missed you on this day for the last 3 years, how much did it kill me to not be able to be with you, wish you and manifest us for the rest of our lives together! Even when we were not together, this day has made me blush and cry a bit, both at the same time and oh, the feeling!! How much I missed writing these long paragraphs for the day right from May starting — and still nothing has changed. It's barely May and I am here, in front of my laptop writing you a paragraph or two, god knows how many, let's see!

All these years of togetherness and falling apart and yet coming back together, has made my gut, my core, my mind, my heart, my whole existence realise that it's only you. IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE YOU. Nobody can EVER take over my heart and settle in my core like you do.

You have no idea how much did it hurt in my gut and how much did my body physically hurt when I decided to not be with you 3 years back!! My way of exploitation was this — not being with you — and every time I tried to convince my mind and heart that you are never going to come back, my body literally refused to accept this! I never heard or saw something like this, I knew it will hurt me badly but this was more than I could imagine.

Everything that happened, has made me sure of one thing that I always used to think — ki mera tumhare alawa kaam nahi chalne wala. I don't know any other way of doing life than this and I don't want to know! (Call it overly dependent or clingy whatever, I don't even care anymore!)

Everyday with you is a life that I always wanted. The happiness that comes from you can only come from you — no money, no any other person can do this! You make my life colourful and full of magic. You make everyday liveable.

9 years ago, after giving sooooo many signals, you proposed to me! And the year 2017 will always be special for me — I could do a tattoo! Every single time I hear or read the year 2017, I instantly blush and my heart starts dancing, hehe! And I cannot believe it will be a decade next year!

The way I started hating on people in the last 3 years — agar aur 3 saal nahi raate to I don't know what would I have done! I like the fact that you keep me calm and grounded. Everyday I dream of a future with you — to travel the world with you, to have our very own home (I literally keep thinking how I will decor our home whenever I go to a furniture or crockery store and I have everything ready in my mind FYI, everything pinteresty!), to go on so many drives with you, to ragebait you in every conversation and then get upset with you, hehe!

A few years back I said I'd write your name in the sky if I could — and this is one way to make it done in this digital era, making you a website, the one that anybody can see!

But again, I'll keep looking for the ways to do that and to make you feel loved and the luckiest guy on the planet! 🌹